Life is full of unwelcome experiences, and often, the most helpful thing we can do is breathe through these events. In this post, I share why and how resting our attention on the breath allows unhelpful thoughts to pass, enables us to manage difficult emotions, and regulates our central nervous system. But even better, I explain how and why the breath is the gateway to our innate wisdom, which reveals the wisest way forward.
What causes you worry, angst or anxiety?
Recall a time when you were in an uncertain situation. A time when you felt worried, nervous, anxious or challenged in some way. Maybe it was before a job interview, or when you were about to ask someone on a date, or you had just missed your train. Even one of those times in the dead of night when your mind decides to kick into overdrive, reminding you of every single scenario that warrants your attention, and you go over and over a situation, rewriting the script and seeing how it plays out.
Have you ever noticed during these times that trying to control your thoughts, emotions, or what’s happening only increases uncertainty, worry, angst, and anxiety? Also, none of your efforts changed the situation you’re trying to resolve, either. Meanwhile, the mind keeps racing, the heart rate continues to increase, and the nerves create more and more knots.
If you (like me) can think of countless times you can relate to such events, take solace in knowing you are completely normal—and so is your mind. This is our mind’s way of protecting us. The problem is that it doesn’t know when to stop. Thankfully, we are more than just our minds. We are holistic beings experiencing this human experience. Each of us has a body, a mind and an emotional system.
The breath of life
Interestingly, the first and last thing we do in our lives is take a breath, and our breath is with us every moment in between. Without the breath, the rest of us cannot function for very long—in a relatively short time, our body, human mind, and emotions will shut down. So, the breath effectively supports the function of the whole system.
However, as holistic beings, we also have another part of us. Within this part is our greatest wisdom and ability to rise above our problems and how they hijack the mind, body, and emotions.
This part is called our spirit.
Like the breath, our spirit is also with us throughout our lives and leaves with our last breath.
Our spirit is like the higher part of ourselves – or the wise part of ourselves. When faced with difficulty, unlike the rest (body, mind and emotions), the spirit doesn’t get caught up in the drama of life. Instead, it meets what’s here with acceptance and curiosity, allowing whatever is present to be here. This is because the spirit knows it has the wisdom to meet difficulty and uncertainty in effective and helpful ways. It knows that we won’t die from rejection, that life will go on, that there will be another train soon, and that the night will pass regardless of whether we spend it worrying and ruminating or sleeping. Because of its wisdom, the spirit trusts. It trusts you, and it trusts the process.
Resting your Attention on the Breath
The most effective way to access the spirit, calm the mind and tend to difficult emotions is by resting your attention on the breath. Acknowledge the difficulty, let it be, and rest your attention on the breath for even sixty seconds (although the longer, the better). Doing so allows the difficult thoughts and emotions to be present without hijacking you. Your central nervous system calms, your heart rate regulates, and you allow space to gather yourself.
Most importantly, you can see what else is present beyond the difficulty: the spirit and the wisdom within it. The wisdom that knows you won’t die from rejection, and the wisdom that reminds you that whatever is unfolding is all part of the human experience. The spirit also knows that no matter the experience, there is an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and ease within it. Finally, the spirit’s wisdom naturally points to a healthier way forward.
So, in the midst of uncertainty and difficulty, know that one of the most effective ways to meet that difficulty is to rest your attention on the breath – that’s all, without needing the storm to pass or permission or approval. Allow what’s present to be here without trying to control or push it away. In doing so, the grip of uncertainty naturally releases its hold, your emotions settle, and your nervous system regulates. From there, the magic happens when you enable the space for your spirit to rise and guide you forward with ease and confidence.
So, you could say that life begins and ends with the breath, and the breath is the gateway to living life well, in wisdom, curiosity and ease.
Wishing you well,
Hilary x
How can I help?
If worry, anxiety, and uncertainty are keeping you from experiencing life’s potential, get in touch to arrange one of my mindfulness-based coaching programs. All programs are tailored specifically to you and help you develop the skills to build confidence, identify wise choices, and live an optimal life with increased flourishing, joy, and ease.
