We’ve all been there—those moments when our inner critic, or as I like to call them, “the gremlins,” stage a full-on Broadway production of self-doubt. It’s especially pronounced when we’re stepping out of our comfort zones: a job interview, an exam, or that nerve-wracking first date. Spoiler alert: it’s normal. But here’s the thing—we don’t have to let those gremlins steal the show.
Many practices like journaling, mindfulness, and meditation can help us face that inner critic. But today, let me offer you a fresh perspective. (Stick with me here—I promise there’s a point, and maybe even a chuckle or two.)
The Dinner Party of Life
Imagine you’re invited to a gathering of good friends. Everyone’s bringing their signature dish. At my house, it’s always Hilly’s Lasagne and Brian’s Lemon Meringue Pie. What’s your signature dish? Go ahead, pick one—even if it’s aspirational (we’ll allow it).
The party buzzes with excitement. People hug, laugh, and exchange compliments while the air fills with the tantalizing aroma of risottos, colourful curries, and artisanal breads. And then, there’s you… standing in the corner, clutching your lasagne like it’s the last life raft on the Titanic. Suddenly, the gremlins switch on their loudspeakers: “Your dish is pathetic compared to theirs!” “Why did you even bother showing up?” Cue the shame spiral. Before you know it, you’re halfway back to your car, lasagne still in hand, wondering why you didn’t just stay home with Netflix and a microwave burrito.
Okay, fine. It’s a tad dramatic, but you get the idea.
Sharing Your Dish, Sharing Your Gifts
The dinner party is life itself, and your dish? That’s your unique gift to the world. Nobody makes lasagne quite like you because guess what? Nobody else is you. Your essence is as one-of-a-kind as a snowflake wearing a top hat. When you bring your gifts to the table, you’re enriching the whole experience for everyone, yourself included.
Let’s talk about essence. Where does it come from? Does it have a colour, a shape, or a form? Nope. It’s an intangible energy—a divine spark. Call it God, Source, the Universe, or that moment when you finally figure out how to fold a fitted sheet. Whatever name you choose, it’s the source of your gifts. And here’s the kicker: the divine doesn’t make lasagne. That’s your job.
Co-Creating with the Divine
Think about it. The ingredients, the time, the love you pour into that dish—it all comes from something beyond your human self. When you create, you’re teaming up with the universe. Sure, the divine isn’t chopping onions in your kitchen, but it’s definitely vibing with you while you stir that sauce.
So, when you’re on the brink of a meltdown at a job interview or trembling before an audience of strangers, remember: you’re not alone. You’re co-creating with a power that’s bigger than your fear. From now on, during these times, take a breath. And trust in your divine partnership. Your lasagne (metaphorical or literal) has a place at the table, it belongs on the table, ready to nourish, inspire and enliven.
Befriending the Gremlins
Fear and doubt are part of the human experience. The gremlins (or the inner critic) will always have opinions. They’ll sing their off-key songs and try to hog the spotlight. But here’s the secret: you don’t have to join their choir.
When the gremlins show up, don’t fight them. Watch them, like you’d watch toddlers throwing a tantrum over mismatched socks. Take a breath and remind yourself that their voices are not the truth—they’re just noise. Then, centre yourself. Feel your connection to the divine, to your essence, and take the next best step.
Your Legacy, One Dish at a Time
Whether you’re walking into an exam, a date, or joining a book club for the very first time, the same rule applies: your gifts matter, and what you bring to the table matters. Sharing who you are and your gifts creates ripples that touch others in ways you might never know. Trust yourself, your gifts, and the source from which they come. Over time, you’ll find that what once terrified you becomes second nature. Who knows? The gremlins might even ask for your lasagne recipe.
One more kicker: If you let the inner critic drive you to every party, you’ll never know the impact you could have on others. Share your gifts boldly; the universe is applauding already.
So, go ahead. Show up. Share your gifts. And remember, you’re in excellent company—because the divine loves a good dinner party.
About me
I’m Hilary Connor, a Mindfulness Teacher and Spiritual Well-Being Coach. For over twenty-five years, I have helped people identify the steps to live happier and more fulfilling lives.
With an international client base, I work with people one-on-one and in groups, supporting them through bespoke coaching programmes. My unique coaching style combines spirituality, evidence-based mindfulness and coaching interventions to help identify what is holding you back and new practices that help you progress in healthy and sustainable ways.
My clients include the Irish Cancer Society, the Department of Education, the Health Service Executive, and the Dublin County Council, helping people develop and sustain personal and workplace well-being.
If you would like to talk about attaining support and guidance to identify your unique gifts and ways to develop and share them along with developing sustainable happiness and fulfilment, get in touch. My contact details are below, but first, here are my credentials:
- MSc Mindfulness-based Wellbeing (1st) University College Cork, (UCC)
- PG Dip in Building Workplace Resilience (1st) UCC
- Certified to Teach Mindfulness in the Workplace, Oxford Mindfulness Foundation, Oxford University, UK
- H Dip Coaching & Coaching Psychology, (1st) UCC
- Executive Coaching with Neuroscience, Positive Success Group, Dublin
- Member of the Mindfulness Teachers Association of Ireland (MTAI) & European Mentoring & Coaching Council (EMCC)
Contact Me
Email:
Tel: (+353) 0868494646
www.hilaryconnor.com